dopamine blues
i curse these highs & lows
but when things flatten out
the distance closes in
& i begin to itch
for a wider perspective
to eat the lotus & mustard seed
to be saturated
with the blood of the lamb
to stumble down
the road to damascus
with the angels of distraction
high & lonesome
is a contradiction of terms
where i can nickel & dime my way
into a saintly alias
that lifts me up to consolation
above the whine of the world
above note for note hymns
to the straight & narrow
where i can put myself out of context
instead of misery
dopamine blues
i curse these highs & lows
but when things flatten out
the distance closes in
& i begin to itch
for a wider perspective
to eat the lotus & mustard seed
to be saturated
with the blood of the lamb
to stumble down
the road to damascus
with the angels of distraction
high & lonesome
is a contradiction of terms
where i can nickel & dime my way
into a saintly alias
that lifts me up to consolation
above the whine of the world
above note for note hymns
to the straight & narrow
where i can put myself out of context
instead of misery
inconsolable blues
i seem to be afflicted with a weariness
that's often mistaken
for cool & detached
a purposely vague account
of my history
i seem to be cursed
with a structural flaw
detached to the point
of numbness
sometimes
stripped down
to rough edges
& raw emotions
that frighten away
anything beautiful
morphine blues
its a numb indifference
as opposed to misanthropic rage
an apathetic drift
that comes through
in an inattention
to detail
desperation measured
by acts
that make no difference
whatsoever
contradictory impulses
may pull two different ways
so you choose
to medicate them
before they can rise
to any occasion
